Crohn’s Warrior: Utopia

crohnie warrior

Utopia’s story brought tears to my eyes. For all that this amazing woman has went through, for her to still have such a positive outlook on life and appreciate each day she wakes up, is just an inspiration. Each picture she posts of her beautiful daughters show what an amazing mother she is. They are happy, they are loving, and they are having an amazing life with their strong mother by their side. I challenge you to read the entirety of Utopia’s story because she is a reminder that no matter what life throws at you, there is always something to be thankful for!

Utopia Crohn's Warrior

Meet Utopia
“My name is Utopia. I’m 30 years old… and this is my story. Let’s go back about 6 1/2 years ago to the day my life changed forever. I was 23 working 3 jobs. I always loved working and having an income. Then one day out of nowhere, I woke up with welt like bruises all over my legs. The next day I woke up with even more bruises/welts. It was very weird since I never banged my legs, fell or anything of that sort, and by day 3 I was completely disabled from the waist down!

I lost my ability to walk. I visited 3 hospitals within a week and no one could figure out what was wrong with me or give me answers.

crohn's patientsleeping crohns

I’ve been a dancer my entire life so I thought my life was over … no dancing ?!? This was heartbreaking. As the week passed I began to have troubles with the mobility of my entire body. This included swelling in my wrists, elbows, fingers, ankles. You name it, everything hurt and I went 3 months without being able to walk or get out of bed. Wanting to give up and contemplating taking my own life, missing work, and everyone taking care of me, I was done!

Then one day after a long 3 months went by, I woke up able to move my legs and walk! Was this some sort of miracle  or what ?? I had joint pain, abdominal pain, but I was walking and doing things on my own again.  A few weeks later I became pregnant with my first baby, and after giving birth the problems started again. But this time it was a bit different… I had constant abdominal pain, diarrhea about 15-25 times a day, and I was always tired. Then a year and a half later I became pregnant again with my second child and the problems just got worse. I went through surgery within my first trimester risking my child’s life. But thank god she’s perfectly healthy. The pregnancy was beyond difficult.

After giving birth again my life went downhill. The abdominal pain increased, the bowel movements were uncontrollable, which resulted in daily nausea and dry heaving every morning. I had blood in my stools. I was even vomiting blood. This was it, I just knew I wasn’t fine like the doctors had been saying !!! I was far from ok. Five years of all these weird unbearable things going on with my body was far from normal or being ok. I was admitted into the hospital and had several tests done and then was referred to a specialist with the belief that I possibly had Crohn’s disease. This of course was not my diagnosis quite yet, but we were getting somewhere.

Then I met my Specialist Dr.Vesga!!! Best thing to ever come along and give me some answers. It was far from easy, but at least I was starting to get somewhere and maybe get some help with all these issues. I went through several procedures, endoscopies, biopsies, and finally after a draining and long 5 years I finally got my diagnosis. Crohn’s-colitis, IBD !!! I was started on my first medication … STEROIDS. I absolutely hated this medication. I gained tons of weight and I had mood swings like no other and it simply did not help with my issues for long at all. Back to the lab I went. Before I started on my current medication I am on,  which is Remicade, I have only had a few infusions and I am not completely sure that this is the right medicine for me. My body twitches, my vision messes with me, my nerves in my feet have started acting up, my joint pain is still very bad, and of course the never ending chronic abdominal pain never goes away. I am a food lover as well. I have many passions and cooking is at the top of my list right behind dancing. So on top of all these issues, my diet and eating habits are an everyday struggle. Things I love I can’t have and even healthy foods cause me damage.

crohn's feelings

I am still learning a lot about my Crohn’s every day and my life is a struggle every morning I wake up. I feel like I’m walking on broken bones every day. My intestines bloat some days are worse than others and I even get asked if I’m pregnant on some days due to the swelling. Life is a constant battle between wanting to give up, which I will never will give up. There’s so much more that no one will ever understand since on the outside I look completely fine. I’ve heard people say ” she must be faking…” yup! I’ve heard people whisper “oh god it’s all in her head…she’s over reacting…” UM…sorry but IT’S SURE NOT IM MY HEAD and I’m actually holding a lot in most of the time. This is my life. I’m a mother…a wife…a born artist with lots of talents…a cook…a dancer… and a Crohn’s fighter is just another thing I deal with in this crazy life of mine.

I will not let my disease define me, make me, or ever break me. And I will hold my head high till the day I die, but until then I am UTOPIA, and I will show my kids that I am strong, determined, a fighter, and I will NEVER EVER GIVE UP!! I promise to wake up every day and appreciate my life for what it is, for some do not have the chance to see another day on this beautiful earth. #crohnsfighter #forlife 

Always :Utopia -perfectly imperfect”

crohn's warrior

Additional Questions:

What are your trigger foods?
“My trigger foods are peanuts, refried beans, strawberries, broccoli, lettuce…all the yummy stuff!”

If you could eat/drink one thing with no consequences for the rest of your life, what would it be?
“If I could eat peanuts and orange juice without consequences that would be a dream come true! I love peanuts everything! Peanut butter chili sauce is my absolute favorite and hurts me the worst. And orange juice causes extreme abdominal pain.”

What advice would you give to a newly diagnosed Crohn’s warrior?
“My advice is to never give up. Always push yourself and never say never. And never listen to negative comments.”

chronic illness warrior

Want to follow Utopia’s Journey?
Instagram: @i_am_utopia
YouTube: UtopiaCummings
Snapchat: i.amutopia

Leave a Reply