When You Never Have Clothes That Fit

You know the excitement? When the weather has been nice and you’re ready to pull out those summer clothes bins? Your sun dresses, shorts, tanks, and sandals – time to get them out for the season?… Well, all that excitement goes right down the drain the minute you pull out your favorite pair of shorts and realize the number on those is about 4 sizes off from what you’re currently wearing…

Welcome to my life with Crohn’s disease.

For me, the last time I was a steady weight was in high school. When I graduated HS, I moved to Germany and made the decision that I wasn’t going to care about gaining weight because I wanted to fully enjoy everything their food culture had to offer (since that’s kind of my thing!) I did gain about 40 lbs. and came home knowing I’d work hard to lose it!

weight gain from crohn's disease                                                       End of my year abroad-June 2011

Well,  my best friend can tell you I didn’t have to do a single thing to lose those 40 lbs. within 3 months I had lost the 40 lbs. I had gained but then I just kept losing weight. I could eat anything and everything but my weight kept dropping. I went from a size 12 to a size 4 in about 6 months.

Enter doctor’s visits, a couple wrong diagnosis, testings, labs, procedures…still a size 4. Now don’t get me wrong – I liked being skinnier but I knew I wasn’t healthy. And when all the amazing clothes that I bought on my European adventures didn’t fit me anymore, it’d hard to say goodbye to them.

weight loss from crohn's disease                                                                     December 2011

Since then and over the next few years, I’ve had the awful experience of needing to be on and off steroids for my Crohn’s. They made me gain weight so fast that shirts that fit me a week prior would make me look pregnant then.

I got to the point where I had bins in my basement labeled “fat clothes” and “skinny clothes.” Which does nothing for self esteem of course.

I had about a year period where I stayed a size 6 and was very thrilled about it. I got so confident that my disease was under control that I donated all the clothes that were too big or small.

Well…let’s just say I’m not looking forward to getting out my summer clothes bins this year. I’m back to a size 12 and need to be on steroids to keep my disease under control for an extended amount of time.

Even my winter boots when I got them out this year didn’t fit. That’s right…my BOOTS. My calves have gotten so much bigger from holding extra fluid that my beautiful tall winter boots would not zip up.

The fluctuation in my weight has made me spend a lot of money on clothes over the last few yeas, only to donate them after my next weight fluctuation. I’ve also become a huge bargain shopper (which might not be a bad thing) because I don’t want to spend a ton of money on something only to keep it in my closet it “hopes” that it fits again some day soon.

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